So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize