So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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