i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
