Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
