The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
