Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
