i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i now understand why vodka
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
