He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
