Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
