imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
