Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
