spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
