can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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