Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
