What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
