your parents love me but you hate me
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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