dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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