Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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