He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
