at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
