This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
