Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Less talking, more tequila
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
