"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
