was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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