Ambien. No doubt about it.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
