she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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