wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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