We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sex in the backyard? Check.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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