i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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