Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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