Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he wants to bone in the snuggie
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize