On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
