Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
