kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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