I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize