as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
