she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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