i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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