I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My vagina is officially offended.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
