i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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