end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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