So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize