dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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