Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize