rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
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there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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