I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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