Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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