so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
