So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
