PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
