So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
