I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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