You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
