I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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