I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
