what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
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U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
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Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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