This is not my ceiling
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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