Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
