so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
