hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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