FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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