The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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