Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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