I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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