he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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